So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
