Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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