i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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