i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
