??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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