Can i not drive my cunt home
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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