i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
