4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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