so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
