Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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