I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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