4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
