Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
