I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
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