i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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