now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize