I'm drive I can fine osifer
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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