Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
