When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
