I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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