we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
