sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
