She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
