That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
