Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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