Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize