I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
