Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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