my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
