im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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