It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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