So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
