Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Vodka?
Forever.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
