there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
