She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize