Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
