I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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