do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize