Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
