Duck Duck Cougar?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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