You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i now understand why vodka
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
