I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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