Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dicks are not precious.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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