In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
