i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
