he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize