four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
