If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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