i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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