You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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