I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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