Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize