I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
