my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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