Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
