You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
