ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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