i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
