He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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