Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My penis needs a shock collar
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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