Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
