I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
