can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
