Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
