Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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