another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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