wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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